Wednesday 9 January 2013

When can you ask a woman she's pregnant?


Never.

Because as much as you may want in on the secret, it's a secret for a reason. And though it might be an obvious secret (especially in the third trimester), it still is one.






So why is it against the normal social etiquettes to ask a woman about her pregnancy?


Well, it's just none of your business

It's not your pregnancy and even after delivery it won't be your child. 
So why do you care?


A pregnant woman is already experiencing puberty, all over again: haywire hormones, weird body changes and bad skin (who said there'd be any glow anyway?). Like a teenager, she just wants to be left alone so she can plug in her headphones and concentrate on not doing her homework; which in her case is tying back her hair over the toilet commode as she concentrates on keeping down her ingests. 





Her lack of desire for the (unwanted) attention 

She's pregnant but she's still human. She may look like a balloon and walk like a lawn mover, but she still breathes. 
Therefore, when you ask her about her pregnancy, you're indirectly asking her to benefit from your omniscience. And that in many cases, is not a choice for her. 

She then becomes a force of attraction for all the wisdom  there is stored inside all of those great women (and some times even men) who in their time, despised women of the same kind. 



'beta, narail paani zaroor peena. is se beta hi ho ga'
(do drink coconut juice. It'll guarantee a son)

'beti, akhri maheenay mai bus bed se bahar nikalne ki koi zaroorat nahi. chalo gi tou bache pe wazan parey ga' 
(no need to get out of your bed in the last month or else the child will squash under your weight)

'khao khao aur khao! lo ye barfi bhi khao! tum dou logon ka khana kha rahi ho' 
(eat loads! and this cake too! after all you're eating for two)




These are just some of the treasured advices I got when I was pregnant; and as ridiculous as they may sound, the person who actually entrusted their wisdom upon my nascent shoulders, passed them on to me with such conviction that I felt it my responsibility to oblige, only out of sympathy for their assuming ignorance (read stupidity).

And when the pregnant woman's not being showered with pearls of wisdom, she is being admired for her bloom, especially the oh-so-increasing tummy. 
People just cant seem to get enough of a pregnant woman's belly. They will stare at it for so long that even the child inside will start encircling randomly to avoid the piercing eye-beam; and when you think the onlookers have had enough, they come over and without seeking approval of any sort, inspect the bulging stomach with their raw, unclean and intrusive hands,  just to make sure it's not fake. It's like the belly's a hand magnet which automatically is attracting so much of undesired attention that it almost forces the ms. preggers to seek a restraining order!


'yes, I'm pregnant. and no,  you cannot touch my belly'

Safety from the 'Evil Eye'

The superstitious beings that women are, many women don't like to disclose their pregnancy owing to their belief that their good fortune might get stricken with 'the evil eye'. 

When you ask such a woman about her pregnant state, her skeptic mind will instantly set into motion and make her believe that the inquiry is part of a grand scheme to either harm her or her upcoming child in such a way that will benefit the interrogator  
She tries to dodge the question and if you keep backtracking to the original subject, she will definitely assume you to be the Voldemort to her expected Harry Potter. 
When she gets home she will still be obsessed with your questions and caught up in seeking solace as to why you were so interested in her pregnancy alone? There are other mothers too you could have asked the same questions from. Why only her?!



OH MY GOD .. OH MY GOD .. OH MY GOD!

Thus, just to keep such a woman's sanity intact, it's wise not to question such women whether they're pregnant. You'll find out soon enough.

Just doesn't want to tell

It's her pregnancy and she'll let you know about it herself when and if she wants to. 
Even the law says she has the right to do so.



Pregnant woman


So it's better just to be a bystander as the events unfold on their own to reveal the story. 
If the pregnant lady is interested in sharing with you her developments, consider yourself as part of the selective few she does not hate fully (as her insane hormones are not directing her to go crazy at your sight). 
You, my friend, then are her soul mate.

Maybe she's not pregnant ...

and only juggling a hectic routine to hardly find time for workout. 





While a pregnancy is a marvel and trying at the same time, it should be understood that it is a very private affair. 
Women, like any other being, have every right to retain information of any sort. Although, it does seem odd withholding information when it is right there staring in your face.
*such a gentleman*


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