Monday Moves: zero displacement cardio

Playpens are God sent. They are easy to setup, convenient and all in all a mini miracle. But what if your child is too stubborn to stay within?

mama: 'now don't you get out of there, mister'

He adores you so much that in return he demands your constant attention, and wails if you move even for a second.

baby: 'but i love you mama'

*sigh* 

What to do then?

A simple exercise: zero displacement cardio - jog in one spot for 30 minutes daily.

Sound seemingly pointless? Well surprisingly it's not. If done correctly, the cardio exercise is very useful in burning a significant amount of calories. 

Typically, a 150 lb. person will burn about 540 calories by jogging in place for an hour. For every additional 10 lbs. of weight, you will burn about 40 more calories. For example, 160 lb. person will burn 581 calories and a 170 lb. person will burn 617 calories. 

So ..

Let the Jog begin!

• Start by warming up your body by doing simple stretches or jumping lightly on your toes for 3 to 5 minutes.

• Begin the exercise with a light jog. Hop from foot to foot by lifting your feet only 1 to 2 inches off the floor. Coordinate the muscles of your body.

 

• With arms parallel on either side of your body, form a fist with your hand and lift your forearms so that they are perpendicular to the floor. Raise your right arm in front and left at the back, so that the forearms are parallel to your body. Alternate positions and build rhthym as you keep hopping on your feet. 

• Lift your knees higher, closer to your chest, with each hop. The higher you hop, the more calories you'll burn. Work up to aligning your thighs parallel to the floor at each hop.

• Increase speed.

• To increase intensity of the workout for burning more calories, lift your arms up over your head and then pull them down. repeat the motion throughout the routine.

This is a very effective exercise for individuals who lack the gym equipment, or like the protagonist of this post, is space bound. 

All the while you can comfort your baby by staring right in his face and making sure he knows you're keeping an eye on his every move. Eventually he will lose interest and get bored of your face.

baby: 'ok mama. i think i'm ready to be left alone now'

Mission: Accomplished!

Peek-a-Boo

When can you ask a woman she's pregnant?

Never.

Because as much as you may want in on the secret, it's a secret for a reason. And though it might be an obvious secret (especially in the third trimester), it still is one.

So why is it against the normal social etiquettes to ask a woman about her pregnancy?

Well, it's just none of your business

It's not your pregnancy and even after delivery it won't be your child. 
So why do you care?

A pregnant woman is already experiencing puberty, all over again: haywire hormones, weird body changes and bad skin (who said there'd be any glow anyway?). Like a teenager, she just wants to be left alone so she can plug in her headphones and concentrate on not doing her homework; which in her case is tying back her hair over the toilet commode as she concentrates on keeping down her ingests. 

Her lack of desire for the (unwanted) attention 

She's pregnant but she's still human. She may look like a balloon and walk like a lawn mover, but she still breathes. 
Therefore, when you ask her about her pregnancy, you're indirectly asking her to benefit from your omniscience. And that in many cases, is not a choice for her. 

She then becomes a force of attraction for all the wisdom  there is stored inside all of those great women (and some times even men) who in their time, despised women of the same kind. 

'beta, narail paani zaroor peena. is se beta hi ho ga'
(do drink coconut juice. It'll guarantee a son)

'beti, akhri maheenay mai bus bed se bahar nikalne ki koi zaroorat nahi. chalo gi tou bache pe wazan parey ga' 
(no need to get out of your bed in the last month or else the child will squash under your weight)

'khao khao aur khao! lo ye barfi bhi khao! tum dou logon ka khana kha rahi ho' 
(eat loads! and this cake too! after all you're eating for two)

These are just some of the treasured advices I got when I was pregnant; and as ridiculous as they may sound, the person who actually entrusted their wisdom upon my nascent shoulders, passed them on to me with such conviction that I felt it my responsibility to oblige, only out of sympathy for their assuming ignorance (read stupidity).

And when the pregnant woman's not being showered with pearls of wisdom, she is being admired for her bloom, especially the oh-so-increasing tummy. 
People just cant seem to get enough of a pregnant woman's belly. They will stare at it for so long that even the child inside will start encircling randomly to avoid the piercing eye-beam; and when you think the onlookers have had enough, they come over and without seeking approval of any sort, inspect the bulging stomach with their raw, unclean and intrusive hands,  just to make sure it's not fake. It's like the belly's a hand magnet which automatically is attracting so much of undesired attention that it almost forces the ms. preggers to seek a restraining order!

'yes, I'm pregnant. and no,  you cannot touch my belly'

Safety from the 'Evil Eye'

The superstitious beings that women are, many women don't like to disclose their pregnancy owing to their belief that their good fortune might get stricken with 'the evil eye'. 

When you ask such a woman about her pregnant state, her skeptic mind will instantly set into motion and make her believe that the inquiry is part of a grand scheme to either harm her or her upcoming child in such a way that will benefit the interrogator  
She tries to dodge the question and if you keep backtracking to the original subject, she will definitely assume you to be the Voldemort to her expected Harry Potter. 
When she gets home she will still be obsessed with your questions and caught up in seeking solace as to why you were so interested in her pregnancy alone? There are other mothers too you could have asked the same questions from. Why only her?!

OH MY GOD .. OH MY GOD .. OH MY GOD!

Thus, just to keep such a woman's sanity intact, it's wise not to question such women whether they're pregnant. You'll find out soon enough.

Just doesn't want to tell

It's her pregnancy and she'll let you know about it herself when and if she wants to. 
Even the law says she has the right to do so.

So it's better just to be a bystander as the events unfold on their own to reveal the story. 
If the pregnant lady is interested in sharing with you her developments, consider yourself as part of the selective few she does not hate fully (as her insane hormones are not directing her to go crazy at your sight). 
You, my friend, then are her soul mate.

Maybe she's not pregnant ...

and only juggling a hectic routine to hardly find time for workout. 

While a pregnancy is a marvel and trying at the same time, it should be understood that it is a very private affair. 
Women, like any other being, have every right to retain information of any sort. Although, it does seem odd withholding information when it is right there staring in your face.

*such a gentleman*

Monday Moves: playground fun

When I was young, my routine visits to the playground comprised of us children exhausting ourselves endlessly on the swings, while our parents sat peacefully on the benches munching on a home-made snack. 
I mean they definitely deserved it. After all baby-sitting in itself is such a daunting task that it demands the extra calories' fuel.

I really need to eat .. *nom nom* .. or else I'll vanish in thin air!

But now that when I am a parent myself, instead of gaining calories, I choose to lose them by following these simple exercises that can easily be done at the playground, while your kid's busy. 

Standing Push-Ups

Stand at arm's length from either a bench or a slide, with feet shoulder width apart. Place your hands at the top of the bench, or at a bar on the slide ladder, that is no higher than your chest. Lift up your body in the air, so that the weight is resting solely on your toes. Keeping your body straight, and abdominal muscles tucked in, bend your elbows until your body almost touches the bar. Push back. This will be one cycle.

Attempt doing 12 to 15 push-ups.

Criss-Cross

Sit on a swing and hold on to the chains on either sides. Extend your legs straight in front with feet joint and toes pointed. Lean back into the chair at about 45-degrees. Open your legs slightly to form a V. While contracting your leg muscles, cross your left calf over the right, whilst trying to keep the swing still. The tension targets the abdominal muscles. Return to the V position. This makes one set. Start by doing 10 sets and then counting up to 15.

Bench Dip

As the title suggests, the exercise involves a bench and aims to tone the arms and focuses on the triceps.

Slide down the bench when sitting down to grp the end with your hands on either side of your shoulders. Extend your legs infront of you, with knees bent. Keeping your back close to the bench, bend your elbows and lower your body so it just only touches the ground, then pull up quickly.  

Do up to 5 sets. Take a break of 10 seconds and then repeat. Every week increase the sets by 5 or till you feel your arms might fall off.

Make the most of the time you get during these trips; make it the parents' playground and play along with your child to get a personalized workout of your own.

DIY Day: Hair Accessories Organizer

I've always had a soft spot for little, pretty things. I remember, when I was 10, I was more fascinated with Barbie's accessories than the doll herself. It'd be hours before I realized how long I'd been scrutinizing the tiny object and fantasizing of owning it myself.



my world is so pink and pretty!



To this day I can't resist the sight of anything too 'girly'; and if I can't have it, I choose to make it!

Like this real easy headband holder that can also store hair accessories. Though I may have outgrown the competence to pull off such cute hair accessories, I recently projected my love for such, on to a friend's 2-year old.
She's an adorable little thing with rock-star hair! And that hair demands some heavy artillery.
So to help out her mother organize the variety of headbands and pins she had, I made her this really simple holder.

Step 1: gather supplies

• A large sized circular tin container (length depending upon the requirement of your accessories)
• Glue or tape
• Material to cover the container (either a cloth, wrapping sheet or duct tape).

Step 2: dress the lady

Layer the container with the material and extend the coverage to the bottom of the container, but not the top.

You can choose to either leave the top open,

 or

cover it with the same material, seperately, so that it can fit back again on the container.

Step 3: stack up!

Start stacking up your little girl's accessories: head pins, scrunchies and bands will go inside the container,

and the headbands will go around the container.

Try making the organizer with your daughter as it's very easy!
Not only will she enjoy the craft, but also take pride in displaying her accessories which would otherwise be hidden away in the drawer. That way she can have her own sweet accessories rack like her Barbie.

2012: the year of celebrity babies

The media have been careful in judging the past year as the 'year of celebrity babies'. Since I too, had a baby, it seemed that the whole world around me was having one, two or more too. But as it has been validated by the very resourceful papparazzi itself, looks like people were in a rush to pop out babies before the world ended.

This post however, is not about everyone who had a child in 2012, but few of those who I think are worth a mention; and of those whom I have been keeping a track out of pregnancy-bond-induced obligation

This is my personal top ten list of the celebrity newborns who owe their popularity to their awesome parents, as opposed to their assuming cuteness.

10

Parents: Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson

Newborn: Girl - Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson aka Luna

I just included the baby in the list for her (presumptious) attractive name.

 'don't worry baby. I will slash every kid, who makes fun of your name,  with my katana!'

9

Parents: Allyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof

Newborn: Girl - Keeva Jane Denisof

What?! So that was not a fake baby Lily and Marshall were having on ‘How I Met your Mother’s season 7? So I guess I was the only one who didn't know. huh ..

8

Parents: Shilpa Shetty and Raj Kundra

Newborn: Boy – Viaan Raj Kundra

During pregnancy, when at times I just couldn't resist my cravings for fries, I often indulged myself anyway, by exemplifying Shilpa Shetty. If she’s got a personalized yoga tutorial then she definitely will need to get back in shape! I had hoped to do the same. Sadly things haven't worked out that way yet.

7

Parents: Meesha Shafi and Mahmood Rahman

Newborn:  Girl - (couldn't find name on the Internet and she didn't tell me personally)

Either she refuses to explode while pregnant, or her tailor makes really great custom fitted clothes; or maybe coke studio was just recorded way earlier than she was expecting.

*still shaking head trying to figure out*

I'm so sure this is the photo of her first baby, since Pakistani paparazzi are gracious enough not to intrude and let celebrities release photos on personal accord

6

Parents: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green

Newborn: Boy – Noah

Personally for me the birth’s a little unsettling, cause I can never really get myself to picture her as a mom.

we so cannot be interested in a photo of the baby if the mama can manage to pull off platforms with that baby bump

5

Parents: Nadia Hussain and Atif Khan

Newborn: Girl - Sasha

Looks like she’s got everything; and another baby.

'mama, since it seems you can do anything, I want a unicorn right now!'

4

Parents: Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky

Newborn: Girl - India Rose Hemsworth

Though the Avengers’ the Iron Man also had a baby, only Thor made it to my personalized list; only cause he is looking at his baby girl with so much of love in this picture

*awww*

*vader hissing*
'I am your All-father!'

3

Parents: Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z

Newborn: Girl - Blue Ivy Carter

The little girl was my number one at the starting of the year; and then other cool people also had babies.

2

Parents: Adele and Simon Konecki

Newborn: Boy - name still a secret, but who cares! it's Adele's and that's more than enough!

Adele’s finally shown him (the guy who broke her heart and made her into the musical-weapon-of-mass-destruction) and the world that

‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’

Has he yet heard that she's settled down, that she found a boy ... but she's not married yet. Looks like the lyrics can't fit well here then.

1

Parents: Umar Gul and ‘name unknown’; as the great Gul quotes: ‘Don't ask about her name. It is not considered good in Pashtun'.

Newborn: Girl - Rehab Umar (atleast we know her name)

Yes! Our very own Gul boy had his little girl! And the local production is such an  adorable bubble of cuteness that she definitely had to be my numero uno!

Monday Moves: the 'commercial' sets

Once in a while I like to treat myself to saucy soaps on television. As the episode progresses, I can't help but ogle at the figure-perfect ladies strutting about in sleeveless dresses and showing off their toned arms. 
In the midst of determination and pent-up frustration to look as stunning as these women, I went all gymnast to adopt the most strenuous of routines, only to be left worn out at the end!

this .. is .. tough!

I then came up with a 'during-commercials-exercise-sets-for-toning-arms', to not only enjoy my soaps but also target the muscles I wanted to.
Each exercise takes no more than five minutes; long enough to last a commercial break and not force you to give up on the extra exercise

360-degrees arms

This exercise targets your biceps, triceps and shoulders.

• Extend your arms perpendicular to your body. Flex your shoulders and pull up your neck and breath through your chest. Push your feet flat on the ground.
• Move your arms forward, stretching them as further as you can. You will feel a strain in your shoulder plates during the rotations. 
• Count up to 20 circles.Then reverse the direction count up to 20 rotations again.

Bicep Curls (without weights)

You can choose to do this exercise either sitting down or standing up. Traditionally the exercise uses weights but since you're only killing time till the show resumes, we've tailored it accordingly.

• Pull your elbows close to the body, with your arms resting on the sides. 
• Open the palm of your right hand to face forward, and with your left, encircle the wrist of the right arm.
• Clench your right hand into a fist and pull it up towards your bicep, with the left arm resisting the motion. Provide the resistance in the opposite direction as you push down the hand to its original position.
• Count up to 10 repititons, then change arms. 

Behind Back Arms Clasp

The exercise focuses upon the muscles in the shoulder and triceps. You can easily do this while sitting down or standing up.

• Keep your back straight to extend your right arm straight over your head in the air, while keeping the left along your body.
• Fold your left arm behind your back by bending your elbow, while keeping the right in the same position.
• Lower your right arm behind your back to stretch your fingers. Move the left arm to upwards to clasp the right hand. Please note that only the lower arm will move to force clasping. Beginners will struggle  to clasp the hands as the body will resist. 
• Count up to ten once the hands clasp.
• Repeat with the other arm, doing 5 repetitions on either side. 

If you want to extend the exercise, you can also opt for these tougher positions.

Traditional (Killer) Push-Ups

Push-ups focus on not only developing upper arm strength, but also strengthens the core.

• Place your hands on the floor, shoulder-width apart. Rest your knees on the floor, and focus upon putting pressure on your thighs throughout the exercise. Align your hips and back.
• Maintaining the alignment, bend your elbows to lower your body to within an inch from the floor. Pull yourself up.
• Count up to 10 repetitions

Planks

If you see someone performing planks, it may seem quite easy compared to other routines. But boy oh boy! It took the breath out of me and proved to be most fruitful.

• Align your body like in a push-up, but with your legs extended back, and feet together with toes resting on the floor. 
• Place your forearms on the ground. Your can either place your palms on the ground or clasp your hands, but position your wrists under your shoulders. 
• Pull in your abdominal muscles to keep your back straight. 
• Support your body by putting pressure on your arms, as you count to 30. 
• As you develop upper body strength, count up to 60, to build to a minute.

Now that is time well spent I'd say matey!