Wednesday, 10 April 2013

The Problem with Raising a Perfect Child

Most of the time these days, I don't have time. No time to do anything but only look forward to the little naps  granted by my infant's exhausted state. 

However, there have been instances when I am sitting absolutely free of chores and mental stimulation, locked in a world with my baby. These are the times when I often reflect upon the question of whether I'm doing justice to my role as a parent.

Am I a Bad Parent? How to Let Go of Parenting Guilt
am I?

When I was pregnant and blooming with life and energy, I had made quite a few plans. According to my scheduled ambitions, by this time my baby should've not only been potty trained, but also mastered the german language and learned to count up to 20. 

None of the goals are even close to achievements.
I often wonder then what went wrong along the way.
Apparently the internet has the answer to everything. So in the attempts to address my assumed failure, I searched my query online:

How to raise a perfect child?

Forced by habit to choose the easiest way out, I clicked upon the least complicated link.  Voila! There I had it. The answer I had sought for so long, It looked easy as I went through each step very eloquently described.
But then I realized there was a problem with each proposal. They were far easier to read than implement. Though all of them might not be that hard to exercise, here's my rebuttal as to why I'm unable to follow through some of them:

Proposal: Put parenting first

Rebuttal: I'm a stay-at-home mother. I'm guessing that's what I try do the whole day. And if that's not enough I can volunteer to build an all-purpose-robotic-nanny instead.

Proposal: Review how you spend the hours and days of your week.

Rebuttal: Planning my naps around my baby's sleep schedule

Proposal: Be a good example

Rebuttal: That would include the virtues of patience, steadfastness and tolerance. I think I had them before. Then I fell victim to an overcrowded mind and a haphazard routine.

Proposal: Develop an ear and an eye for what your children are absorbing.

Rebuttal: I'm a strong proponent of this fact. The question is, do I myself have spare ears and eyes to do the same. Hmmm...

Proposal: Punish with a loving heart

Rebuttal: With those cute cheeks, that's just not possible

Proposal: Learn to listen to your children

Rebuttal: I think I do. But there's too much noise in the background. In my head.

Proposal: Make a big deal out of the family meal

Rebuttal: That's what my baby does. And it also leaves a big mess behind.

Either way, I think that there is no one way to raise a child - and that too a perfect one.
Every child is perfect in their own sense. As parents we need to realize this very imporant fact instead of falling prey to stereotypes, which more often than not only make us feel guilty. We are parents for a reason, because we bear the capacity to become one. So I think that there is no perfect child. There is only your child who is a reflection of you; and if we succeed in making them into humans better than us than I can say we've done our jobs. 

And to the internet who seemed a pro at parenting advice, here's my message.

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